Awake In Spirit

Several weeks ago I had to undergo a nuclear medicine scan as the final step in diagnosing a medical condition.  For six weeks I was not allowed to take my thyroid medication and this left me tired, irritable, and generally not feeling well.  On top of this, I am quite (maybe very is a better adjective) claustrophobic and was anxious about the possibility of being “pinned” under some big medical machine.

Rather than take tranquilizers, which was one option, I opted to meditate my way through this 2 hour 45 minute scan.  When I first arrived at the local hospital for my scan, the first thing the technician asked me was whether or not I knew it was a long test.  This was not the first time that fact had been mentioned, so I answered in the affirmative.  As we started, she told me I was required to lie still for 2 hours.  Perfectly still.  Oy.

Being the obedient person that I am, I settled in as comfortably as possible and prepared myself to be still for that length of time.  I soon realized that this was not a claustrophobia provoking set up but the machine was still pretty darn close to me.  I began chanting the Names of God that were given me at my initiation onto the Path of Sound and Light.  I chanted and chanted.  After a while, I decided to call on my Spiritual Teachers to appear in their Radiant Forms.  My spiritual path teaches that our teachers lead us back home to God.  Sometimes they are visible as blue and purple light but they may also appear in their radiant forms.  I interpret this to mean they look like their human forms but in a more translucent, astral version

Normally, when I meditate, I wait for the colored light.  This may have been the first time I called on them to appear in Radiant Form.  I found myself observing my Radiant Form rise up to meet with them.  Together we all traveled to the place where Soul meets God.  I found myself at the place where my Divine Spark met with Divinity.  I have been to this place in the past and it is a very wonderful place to be.

While there, I found myself being shown two very important Truths.  The first is that our Souls animate our bodies.  As we are Spiritual Beings enjoying (or sometimes not so much enjoying) a Human Experience, it is our Spirit, or Soul, that gives or human bodies their life force.  This reminded me of the movie, “Avatar”, that was such a hit last winter.  In the movie, the humans animated the Avatars that were made in the image of the inhabitants of the planet “Pandora”.  In the “truth” I was shown, the experience of soul animating human body was quite similar.

This realization led to the second Truth.  After our bodies are gone, after our human experience is complete and we die, our essence in the form of Soul continues.  We do not end.  Death is not an ending to our existence.  We, as Souls, continue on and nothing really changes at all for us – except for the fact that we are free from illusion of the limitations of being “human”.

Namaste!

I am highly aware that I have not posted anything for a very long time.  I occasionally think about my being “quiet”.  I have wondered whether or not my interest in reaching out has waned.  Maybe it is time to take down the website.  Still, I left the website intact and turned back to my solitude.  Where did my excitement and passion disappear?  Why have things come to an apparent standstill?  Was the past year just a “phase” I was going through?

Now I believe I have some answers.  As I have been progressing down my Spiritual path, I have been aware of going deeper and deeper within. The direction of my path, as defined by my Spiritual teachers, is inward and upward, and I find myself definitely being pulled in that direction. I have been taught that the means to this end is to focus on “God first, God only”; practice love, acceptance, and forgiveness; and to release all attachment to the outcome of events or situations.  I work toward this mainly through my practice of meditating on the Names of God.

Now, I have been an introvert all my life – or at least as far back as I can remember – so going within is a no-brainer for me.  While going within prior to initiation on my Spiritual path, my mind would take over and most times I became overwhelmed by thoughts.  This was not conducive to feeling connected to Spirit.  Meditation is a means to short-circuit the over thinking process.  I am able to stop my mind, listen for the sound of God, and watch for the light of God.

As I progress along the path, I am finding myself more and more in the state of detachment I have mentioned in a prior post.  Of the many definitions I can find for this word, the one that fits closest is “aloofness, as from worldly affairs or from the concerns of others”.  The word “aloof” does not quite fit, though, for rather than feeling disinterested or apart, I have grown into the role of  bearing witness to events and people surrounding me.  By bearing witness, I can be present to things and people around me without having to take the issues on as my own. I also notice that I am bearing witness to my life without becoming too emotionally involved in it. I find this very liberating!

Our minds and our emotions tend to rule us and for me, they are the reason I stray off the Spiritual path.  When I find myself caught up in thoughts I know this is a sign that I am not maintaining my focus on God.  When my emotions are triggered, I know an area of my life in need of healing has been exposed. And when I am in a state of detachment, I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be – in connection with all that is, the great I AM.  And all is good.

Namaste!

Things have been quiet lately.  I have been quiet lately.  Sometimes I begin to wonder whether or not I am being too quiet, or perhaps am becoming apathetic.  When I start to think this, I begin to realize that I have entered into a state of detachment.  I have no expectations or attachments to any specific outcome.  I am perfectly content just “being”.  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

As a spiritual being having a human experience, I find myself in the place of moving closer and closer to Spirit.  I feel this during my meditation.  I wake up knowing I have just returned from Mystery School, which is a place of spiritual learning I first visited during sleep almost two years ago.  I also am noticing that I am no longer becoming entangled in emotions and work very hard at not getting stuck in my mind.  For me, as for many, these are the two biggest obstacles to maintaining my connection with Spirit.

These new places sometimes catch me unaware.  When I no longer live in the drama and trauma of the Third Dimension, I am freeing myself up to ascend to the Fifth Dimension.  But along with the freedom comes a sense of loss.  Who am I if I am not getting caught up in emotions or thinking obsessively?  How do I define myself now?  How will others experience me as I am manifesting a paradigm shift that they know nothing about?  Especially when those others are family and friends.

One answer that comes to me is that it doesn’t matter.  Nothing matters except God.  To reach God, in my experience, it is imperative that I transcend the realms of emotion and mind.  And by doing this, I go to a place that is truly beyond words.  How can one describe merging with God by using mere words?  There is no way in my experience that something that huge and all transcendent can be distilled into written or spoken words.  And so, I find myself  detached from things of the world, turning more and more inward and becoming more and more quiet.  I stop judging myself as being apathetic and simply allow the Loving to envelop me.  It is ALL God, and God is GOOD.

Namaste!

I have recently been struggling with the concept of “mind”. On my meditation path, the mind is considered one of the realms that must be navigated in order to reach the soul level and beyond. Returning to Soul is returning home to God and our God-self, which is the ultimate goal for the person who ascribes to the belief that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Based on my own personal experience, as well as conversations with friends, I am learning that the mind tends to create obstacles to the process of returning to soul. It is a “trickster”. In an effort to remain in control, the mind does everything in its power to keep us in the third dimension by throwing us into our emotions and by asking us to come up with explanations for everything that is happening in us, to us, around us, and through us. Both emotions and explanations cause us to focus on the lower realms. We tend to become attached to the need to know what is going on and why we feel the way we do. This becomes distracting noise that throws us off track.

So, what can we do to move beyond this? Although it is not an easy task, I believe we serve ourselves best by learning to detach from our feelings and our need to have an explanation for everything. One means to accomplish this is to turn everything over to God. Anything that is not of God is, after all, an illusion. Our human lives are merely temporary – Spirit’s vehicle for manifesting a human experience. As we move toward ascension to the fifth dimension, we no longer need to focus on the human experience because we are moving back to Spirit and God. As we move toward the new paradigm, we learn to recognize our emotions as pointers to the holes in our soul that are in need of repair. Once we enter the new paradigm, we realize there is nothing at all that we need – we are complete in God and no longer are slaves to our mind and feelings. We can truly say, “never mind”.

Namaste!

I recently watched The Moses Code DVD.  This was the second viewing and I found that I resonated quite well with it.  For those of you that are unfamiliar with The Moses Code, the message is quite simple.  God appeared to Moses in the form of a burning bush.  Moses asked who was speaking to him.  The answer – “I Am That I AM.”   The Moses Code emphasizes that the answer was truly, “I Am That, I Am”.  The comma being the missing “code” that changes the meaning from being the name of God to a statement that we are all One.

I am not certain I got that the first time, maybe I wasn’t paying attention.  But as I have been cementing myself more firmly into my God-hood or God-ness, I am finding myself resonating with this idea much more.  After all, I believe in the oneness of everything and that we are all Sparks of the Divine so the “I Am That, I Am” statement makes sense to me.  And since it makes sense, I have decided to take it on as a part of who I am.  Or should I say, who I AM.

Even as I write this, I realize that the I AM consciousness is nothing really new and I have been living it for quite a while already.  This confirms for me my belief that we know everything we need to know and our task is to remember.  Maybe that is the reason I felt such a strong resonance with the message of “The Moses Code”.  I was being reminded of that which I already knew but perhaps let slip out of my consciousness for a while.

Things can become slippery when we lose sight of our connection to the Oneness of God.  We become caught up in our emotions and our dualities and tend to forget our Divinity.  We connect with our “stuff” and become caught up in fear.  Then we lose sight of the most important knowing of all  -  the Loving of God.  So, why do things get so slippery?  Why are we unable to hold onto that oneness with God?  Why is it so difficult to remain in that consciousness?  I ask myself these questions repeatedly.  I feel so wonderful when I am experiencing the Loving and the Light of God, yet I still spend more time seeking than experiencing.

The best answer that I am able to manifest is that I am still caught up in my “human experience”.  Yes, I am a very spiriutal being but I am also a human being.  Thankfully, I am a human being very much into the process of awakening into my God-ness, so the lessons come a bit quicker these days.  I am capable of seeing how my emotions and fears and experiences of the third dimension (also known as my “stuff”) are  manifesting to show me how to clear out old patterns and reach ever more toward the place in which God and I co-exist.  This is the place where God and I meet and where I can truly see that I AM THAT, I AM!

Namaste!